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The Courage to Surrender by Jack Whalen at Abbey's Bookshop,
The Courage to Surrender
— —
Jack Whalen

The Courage to Surrender

Jack Whalen

$36.95   $31

Paperback

Not in-store but you can order this
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English
New Wave
08 May 2019
History of the Americas; Society & Social Sciences; Mental health law; Coping with personal problems; Family & relationships
My college sweetheart was five months pregnant when we got married at a formal wedding her family planned for us. Times were crazy as I'd graduated from college two weeks earlier and was getting ready to move to a strange city to begin a career. My concerns were where would we live; could I do the job I never tried, and would my salary be enough to pay the bills; give my new wife and I a life, and most of all provide the required baby things.

I excelled at my career, but money was tight, so we read and fed the ducks in a quiet lifestyle with our ""love child."" Our only exception that summer of 1969 was the infamous Woodstock Music and Art Festival. I was concerned my best friend's wife was pregnant, but we picked them up in New York State as we passed through from our new apartment in Connecticut.

Within four years my wife was pregnant again, and my job was boring, so I got a new job about four hours to the west. It was a living accommodations upgrade; the job was challenging, and we met a nice couple with two kids the ages of ours. Over then few years we socialized and played sports with them. We became tight with them until the next better job came along. We moved six hours farther west.

And that was our lifestyle for the next 7 or 8 years until we could afford a house, but the change was negligible. The only significance aside from yard work was I met a couple of high-powered addicts with high-level jobs. With their assistance, I added speed to my habits. Fortunately, my LSD experiment was not impressive.

As my addiction to my increased use, my wife joined us to a lesser degree. Less than a year in our house, I was transferred to headquarters with recommendations. I was placed on the ""high potential"" list indicating the sky was the limit if I worked hard and stayed out of trouble.

Those two requirements proved too much for my lifestyle.

This was a Fortune 5 company so it surprised me as the year before the move I was asked to join an elite group headed to upper management, but it was all accounting, which wasn't on my career path, so I quite early on. The day I handed in my book my boss went ballistic screaming - no one quits - it took me a lot to get you in.

After breaking down walls of digital ignorance the company gave me a management award, which I suggested we split with one of my direct reports. She was deserving, but once again that's not done. After that embarrassment, I was told in private if projects are a success it's because the project manager made it happen. For failed projects, it's always the people actually doing the work who screwed it up.

At the corporate office, I fell in with a couple of partiers who brought me down to their lifestyle. I was not feeling good about myself - I was at the bottom of my life and with every opportunity to excel I failed. In 1982, I was given a project that included a communications link to Singapore. I visited there for a five-week stay and loved the challenge of the work.

Upon my return, there was a domestic situation that started at the airport. I didn't handle it very well after my 27-hour plane trip. Part of the issues was a transfer to New Hampshire. As everyone expected I was able to straighten out my life in the quiet environment of New Hampshire. - no drugs, reduced drinking.
By:  
Imprint:   New Wave
Dimensions:   Height: 229mm,  Width: 152mm,  Spine: 20mm
Weight:   522g
ISBN:   9781087858883
ISBN 10:   1087858887
Pages:   390
Publication Date:  
Audience:   General/trade ,  ELT Advanced
Format:   Paperback
Publisher's Status:   Active

I am a first wave baby boomer from a small town in northern New York. I graduated from college and married in June 1969. The War in Vietnam weighed heavily on me as our ""love child"" was born a couple of months after the August Woodstock Music Festival. With my draft board after me, I started the pressure of a new career in a leading-edge computer industry. The Woodstock Nation spawned a culture that swept me into a lifestyle of a grass smoking, long hair, and characteristics that identified me as a hippie in a white-collar job. My alcoholism and addiction can not be understated as they influenced my life unmeasurably. Often I felt alone on a dark path very few have traveled. Simultaneously, I quickly advanced upward through the computer technology industry earning management promotions, awards, and guest speaker engagements, an opposite path that even fewer have traveled. Forty years later, I retired as an IT Project Manager after a successful career that included global travel to places like Singapore, China, and Nice, France. But it was the only life I'd ever known, so the peace away from stressful work and life in the fast lane led me to a quiet life of writing. My biggest achievements in life are my two children as they have growing careers, loving families, and are solid citizens. Of course, the love from my grandchildren reminds me how lucky I have been in my crazy life.

Reviews for The Courage to Surrender

Quotes from The Courage to Surrender because she is confronting a demon, which will consume all her strength, as she is coming to grips with who she really is, versus who she wishes she was I believe that shame is abuse against yourself while guilt is abuse toward one or more people paranoia is my savior as it keeps me getting high in privacy balance is everything if getting sober was the best thing I ever did for myself, then drinking again would certainly be the worst thing I ever did to myself that feeling of knowing someone more than anyone always has your back. I suspect many define love as safety in mirrors brought back flashes of the shame I caused myself and the guilt I felt for the pain I caused others who tried to love me


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