I yelled at the kids again--and feel so ashamed. I barely have time to shower, let alone exercise; no wonder I'm so out of shape. I'm just not the dad I hoped I would be. Parenting is hard. That's why self-compassion is so important. In this empathic resource, mindfulness expert and psychologist Susan M. Pollak helps parents let go of constant self-judgment and treat themselves with the same kindness and caring they strive to offer their kids. Simple yet powerful guided meditation techniques (most under three minutes long) are easy to practice while doing the dishes, driving to work, or soothing a fussy baby. Parents learn to respond to their own imperfections like a supportive friend--not a harsh critic. In the process, they not only will find themselves happier and more energized, but also will discover new reserves of patience and appreciation for their kids. The companion website features audio downloads narrated by the author.
Introduction 1. Make It Stop-I Can't Keep Up! : Parenting Is Overwhelming 2. Why Is This So Hard? : Using Self-Compassion as a Life Raft 3. Where Did That Come From? : Dealing with the Baggage We Bring to Parenting 4. I'll Never Be Good Enough : Avoiding the Comparison Trap 5. What Should I Do? : Working with the Inevitable Uncertainty of Parenting 6. Why Can't Everyone Just Calm Down? : Handling the Inevitable Hot Emotions 7. It's All Too Much : Tapping the Power of Compassion When Times Are Particularly Tough 8. Roots and Wings: The Gifts We Give Our Children Self-Compassion for Parents Toolbox Resources Notes
Susan M. Pollak, MTS, EdD, is cofounder and senior teacher at the Center for Mindfulness and Compassion at Harvard Medical School/Cambridge Health Alliance, where she has supervised and taught since the mid-1990s. She is the president of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy and a psychologist in private practice in Cambridge, Massachusetts. A longtime student of meditation and yoga, Dr. Pollak teaches about mindfulness, compassion, and self-compassion in psychotherapy and has been integrating the practices of meditation into psychotherapy since the 1980s. She is author of Self-Compassion for Parents (for general readers) and coauthor of Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy (for mental health professionals).
Reviews for Self-Compassion for Parents: Nurture Your Child by Caring for Yourself
Ever feel inadequate raising your kids, like you can't quite get it right? There's hope! Seamlessly weaving together insights from ancient wisdom traditions, modern psychological research, years of clinical practice, and vivid firsthand experience as a mother, Dr. Pollak has created a lucid, practical guide to parenting as sanely as humanly possible. Filled with warmth, humor, kindness, and sage advice, this book provides time-tested practices anyone can use to have a richer, happier, more rewarding experience raising kids--and helping them to flourish. --Ronald D. Siegel, PsyD, author of The Mindfulness Solution After reading this book, I find myself reacting differently to my children's behavior. Instead of tension, there is connection and compassion. This book is a life changer! --Daniel F., Boston, Massachusetts