The Unofficial Princess Bride Cookbook

INTRODUCTION Booooooze! DRINKS AND COCKTAILS Vizzini’s Iocane Fizzini Fire Swamp Flame Spurt Dead Pirate Robert’s “No Survivors” Bumbo Vengeful Spaniard’s Sangria “Mostly Dead” Corpse Reviver “Cliffs of Insanity” Shot The Brut Squad “The Sea After a Storm” Dark and Stormy Four White Horses Not a Witch’s Brew Are you just ladling around with me or what? SOUPS AND STEWS Fezzik’s Restorative Stew Florinese “Mawidge” Soup “Unemployed in Greenland” Suaasat Farm Boy Stew Grandfather’s Matzo Ball Soup Do you always begin meals this way? APPETIZERS AND ACCOMPANIMENTS “Not a Lot of Money in Revenge” Beggar’s Purses “Life is Pain” Pandemain Arancini à la Vizzini Fiery Spanish Croquetas Gentle Giant’s Gargantuan Gougères Six-Fingered Man Skewers (Rugen’s Flammkuchen) “Battle of Wits” Brie and Apple Crostini The National Dish of Florin Swordmasters’ Fon-Duel Have You the Wings? Prepare to dine! MAIN COURSES Pre-Torture Nourishment Buttercup’s Perfect (Chicken) Breasts The Albino’s MLT: Mutton, Lettuce, Tomato Roasted R.O.U.S. Shrieking Eel Pie Hippopotamic Land Mass Lollipops The Capo Farro Technique The Pirate Ship Revenge Salmagundi Humperdinck’s Crown Roast The Machine’s Excruciating Tourtière I’ll eat you both apart! I’ll bake you both together! CAKES, PIES, AND TARTS Princess Buttercups Flaming Fezzik Flambé “As You Wish” Appeltaart Princess Bridal Cake Have Fun Storming the Chastletes! Skip to the end . . . OTHER DESSERTS AND CANDIES Clever Sicilian’s “Inconceivable!” Dessert Miracle Max’s Chocolate-Covered Miracle Pill Anybody Want a Peanut (Buttercup?) Man in Black’s “No One to Be Trifled With” Trifle Lightning Sand Parfait Hello Lady(fingers)! Kissing Book Kisses Oh, You Mean THIS Gate Key (Lime Posset)! Twu Wuv Twuffles Cherry Pits of Despair VEGAN, VEGETARIAN, AND KOSHER REPLACEMENTS PARTY PLANNING ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ABOUT THE AUTHOR INDEX