When Alzheimer's entered their home, nothing prepared them for how deeply it would change everything.
In The One Thing He Wished We Knew, Dr. Iyabo Abare offers a heartfelt, courageous, and deeply human story of her father, Alfred Bolorunduro Okhidievbie-a respected community leader, devoted father, entrepreneur, and patriarch whose vibrant life was slowly dismantled by Alzheimer's disease. What begins as subtle forgetfulness soon becomes a devastating journey of confusion, wandering, memory loss, and heartbreaking decline.
Told with honesty, compassion, and a daughter's unfiltered love, this memoir reveals the emotional, cultural, and societal challenges families face when caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's-especially within African communities, where dementia is often misunderstood, stigmatized, or attributed to myths and spiritual causes.
As Dr. Abare retraces her father's final years, she also shares the regret, lessons, and revelations that transformed her personal grief into a lifelong mission as a Gerontologist and Social Worker. Blending memoir, medical insight, and cultural reflection, this book helps readers:
Recognize the early signs of Alzheimer's
Understand the emotional turmoil behind forgetfulness and behavioural changes
Learn compassionate caregiving practices
Break harmful cultural myths surrounding ageing and dementia
Protect their loved ones emotionally, medically, and financially
More than a memoir, this book is a call to awareness. It is a guide for families walking similar paths, a tribute to elders whose voices are silenced by disease, and a reminder that love, patience, and understanding matter more than anything else.
Heartbreaking yet hopeful, The One Thing He Wished We Knew is a must-read for caregivers, families, health workers, and anyone seeking to understand Alzheimer's through the eyes of a daughter who lived it.
