The Funniest People in Television and Radio

250 Anecdotes

David Bruce

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Paperback

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English

David Bruce
06 September 2022

Television; Radio; Humour collections & anthologies

"This is a short, quick, and easy read.

Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK, but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends.

Anecdotes are retold in my own words to avoid plagiarism.

Most of these anecdotes are meant to be funny, but some are meant to be thought-provoking.

- Star Trek: The Experience can be seen at the Las Vegas Hilton. Among other attractions are actors portraying characters from the various Star Trek series. Many of the actors are very good, and they stay in character. For example, a famous Ferengi is Quark. When a fan yelled ""Quark!"" at an actor in a Ferengi costume, the actor sighed and said, ""Billions of Ferengi in the Universe, and they [Hu-Mans] all think we are Quark!"" The Ferengi are a notoriously acquisitive species, and Star Trek fan Kevin Wagner was shocked that an actor playing a Ferengi agreed to pose for free for a photograph with a fan. Therefore, Kevin quoted the 13th Rule of Acquisition to the Ferengi: ""Anything worth doing is worth doing for money."" However, the actor playing the Ferengi knew his stuff: ""Don't quote the Rules of Acquisition to me, Hu-Man. Free publicity!""

- George Burns and Gracie Allen had years of experience performing in vaudeville before they started doing their radio show. This long experience came in handy when mishaps occurred on their show. One day, the lights in the studio went out, and no one could read the script. On another occasion, Gracie accidentally dropped her script, and the pages scattered everywhere. Both times, they ignored the script. George simply asked, ""Gracie, how's your brother?"" - and Gracie started one of their well-memorized and very funny vaudeville routines.

- Comedian Soupy Sales used to collect portraits of United States Presidents and American founding fathers. On his TV show for children, he once told his young viewers to go through Mommy's purse and Daddy's wallet and mail him ""the little green pieces of paper with pictures of George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Lincoln, and Jefferson on them."" In return, he promised to send the children a postcard from Puerto Rico."

By: David Bruce
Imprint: David Bruce
Dimensions: Height: 216mm, Width: 140mm, Spine: 6mm
Weight: 122g
ISBN: 9798215088449
Pages: 90
Publication Date: 06 September 2022
Audience: General/trade , ELT Advanced
Format: Paperback
Publisher's Status: Active

"It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a cry rang out, and on a hot summer night in 1954, Josephine, wife of Carl Bruce, gave birth to a boy - me. Unfortunately, this young married couple allowed Reuben Saturday, Josephine's brother, to name their first-born. Reuben, aka ""The Joker,"" decided that Bruce was a nice name, so he decided to name me Bruce Bruce. I have gone by my middle name -- David -- ever since. Being named Bruce David Bruce hasn't been all bad. Bank tellers remember me very quickly, so I don't often have to show an ID. It can be fun in charades, also. When I was a counselor as a teenager at Camp Echoing Hills in Warsaw, Ohio, a fellow counselor gave the signs for ""sounds like"" and ""two words,"" then she pointed to a bruise on her leg twice. Bruise Bruise? Oh yeah, Bruce Bruce is the answer! Uncle Reuben, by the way, gave me a haircut when I was in kindergarten. He cut my hair short and shaved a small bald spot on the back of my head. My mother wouldn't let me go to school until the bald spot grew out again. Of all my brothers and sisters (six in all), I am the only transplant to Athens, Ohio. I was born in Newark, Ohio, and have lived all around Southeastern Ohio. However, I moved to Athens to go to Ohio University and have never left. At Ohio U, I never could make up my mind whether to major in English or Philosophy, so I got a bachelor's degree with a double major in both areas, then I added a Master of Arts degree in English and a Master of Arts degree in Philosophy. Yes, I have my MAMA degree. Currently, and for a long time to come (I eat fruits and veggies), I am spending my retirement writing books such as Nadia Comaneci: Perfect 10, The Funniest People in Comedy, Homer's Iliad: A Retelling in Prose, and William Shakespeare's Hamlet: A Retelling in Prose. If all goes well, I will publish one or two books a year for the rest of my life. (On the other hand, a good way to make God laugh is to tell Her your plans.) By the way, my sister Brenda Kennedy writes romances such as A New Beginning and Shattered Dreams."