The Decision to Belong: An Adlerian Framework for the Relationships You Actually Want

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Bart Golub

The Decision to Belong

Name: The Decision to Belong
Price: 27.21 AUD
Availability: OutOfStock
ISBN: 9798234081513

An Adlerian Framework for the Relationships You Actually Want

Bart Golub

$29.95 $27.21

Paperback

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English

Gemeinschaft Press
05 May 2026

Sociology: family & relationships; Social, group or collective psychology; Dating, relationships, living together & marriage; Assertiveness, motivation & self-esteem

We have never had more information about relationships and never felt less equipped to be in them. We name our attachment styles, recite our love languages, and diagram every fight-and still find ourselves stuck inside the same painful loops, reverting in the moments that matter most to the same protective strategies we built decades before we ever picked up a self-help book.

The problem is not a lack of information. It is a lack of capacity.

In The Decision to Belong, psychotherapist Bart Golub introduces Relational Capacity Therapy-an Adlerian framework that moves beyond classification toward development. RCT identifies five measurable, buildable capacities that determine the health of every relationship in your life: Vulnerability, Emotional Intelligence, Compersion, Relational Confidence, and Agreements.

Through eight intimate portraits of people you will recognize-the Guardian who never asks for help, the Analyst who can explain every feeling but cannot have one, the Sovereign who has perfected a life designed for one-Golub shows how patterns that once protected us become the walls we live behind, and what it actually takes to dismantle them.

Drawing on Alfred Adler's century-old insight that human beings are built to belong, The Decision to Belong is written for anyone-therapist or not-who has wondered why insight has not been enough. It is a book for the partner exhausted by the same recurring fight, the reader who has come to suspect that real change is less about understanding what is wrong and more about building what has always been missing, and the clinician seeking a more developmental framework for relational work across the full spectrum of relationship structures.

For readers of Dossie Easton, Jessica Fern, Esther Perel, Brené Brown, Stan Tatkin, Sue Johnson, and Bessel van der Kolk.

Belonging is not a feeling that arrives. It is what you build.

And it begins with the decision to belong.

By: Bart Golub
Imprint: Gemeinschaft Press
Dimensions: Height: 229mm, Width: 152mm, Spine: 18mm
Weight: 349g
ISBN: 9798234081513
Pages: 286
Publication Date: 05 May 2026
Audience: General/trade , ELT Advanced
Format: Paperback
Publisher's Status: Active

Bart Golub, MSSW, is a California-licensed psychotherapist and the developer of Relational Capacity Therapy, an Adlerian framework for understanding and building the five core capacities that determine relational health: vulnerability, emotional intelligence, compersion, relational confidence, and agreements. He holds a master's in social work from Columbia University and a bachelor's from Cornell University's School of Hotel Administration, bringing a background in hospitality and behavioral marketing to his clinical work. His private practice serves individuals, couples, and chosen families across the full spectrum of relationship structures - monogamous, polyamorous, queer, and everything in between. He writes about Adlerian psychology, relational development, ethical non-monogamy, and the science of belonging. He lives and practices in San Francisco. InterpersonalPsychology.com