Mindful Thoughts for Mothers

"Prelims pp1-5 Introduction: Love - A Beginning Without End pp6-9 The power of the mother-child bond, initiated in pregnancy and childbirth, is a deep seated instinctual force in us that quite simply causes us to care about each other. Reflections and an invitation to take a mindful moment to feel and acknowledge this connection. 1. Threads of Connection pp10-15 Exploring the wider web of motherhood which weaves threads of connection between us and our children, and beyond. We see how being fully present, here and now, can affect the wider ripples of our influence through the lives of our children and our families and into the world. 2. Mothering Together pp16-21 It is good to remember at any given moment that as a mother, you are a woman who is doing something that many, many other women are doing, simultaneously-from changing a nappy to setting boundaries for your unruly teenager. Here we explore community, as it relates to the theme of Sanga' in Buddhism, and the positive impact of this on our lives. 3. Identity - Self, Mother & Consciousness pp22-27 All mothers will at some point consider the contrast in their experience of life before and after having children. We look here at the continuous presence' of our consciousness, like the single thread on which the varied beads of our life-experience are strung, and notice how identity is like a form given to embody a personalised aspect of this consciousness. 4. The Mother's Mother pp28-33 We have all experienced mothering of some kind, whether from an actual mother, a mother figure, friend or foster mother. He we bring our awareness to our own attitudes as mothers, looking at what we have taken on that we wish to discard or to nurture as we mother our own children. Parenting with conscious attention to what works and what doesn't, allows us to grow into the kind of mothers our children really need, rather than being perfect' mothers. 5. The Daily Grind pp34-39 Early on in our children's lives, we are needed 24 -7. Often we will try to find rhythms of activity and rest which support their needs and ours. Bringing a mindful approach to well-worn patterns of activity calls us to wake up' during an unconscious act of doing by becoming more aware and recognising the transient nature of this and of all moments. 6. A Child's Eyes pp40-45 Our children teach us how to see through fresh eyes. How can we take this wisdom into our lives and to look without projecting, expecting or intellectualising what we see for a few moments, and what does this experience tell us? Shifting our preconceptions and judgements. 7. Growth & Change pp46-51 By watching our children growing and metamorphosing ever onwards and upwards, we learn that change is sudden, gradual, and ultimately inevitable. Acknowledging this can help us to find more flow in our approach to life, to notice what we cling to, find acceptance for change and learn to let go. 8. Balance pp52-57 Mothers in the modern world are often juggling work, home, family, and that's just for starters. Here we look at the balancing act and practice becoming really conscious of stress triggers and patterns which may exacerbate the situation, exploring ways of finding our centre and our breath when life is moving at full pelt. 9. Safety-A Mother's Radar pp58-63 Through gestating, birthing and raising a child we naturally become hormonally and emotionally focused on their wellbeing and survival. Here we look at the spectrum of our impulses towards our offspring, from curiosity to anxiety, and notice the ease or tension we may be holding around their safety and success. How can we grow and honour our intuition more and how will this serve us in worrying less and trusting more. 10. Generosity-Dana pp64-69 In Buddhism there is a principle of generosity, ""Dana"" or giving, without thought of reward or recognition. We explore this idea from the perspective of motherhood, looking at all of the aspects of giving we do as part of the job, as well as the areas we may give conditionally or with expectation for it to be reciprocated, or from guilt. 11. Carrying and Emptying Out pp70-75 As mothers, we can literally carry our children for years and even when they are walking on their own two feet, we still carry their wellbeing in our hearts and minds. But there are times when we might get so used to this aspect of holding, that we forget to recycle' our energy, to empty out our worries and to start over again. Here we practice emptying out through the breath and intention. 12. When We Say ""No"" pp76-81 Creating boundaries can be tricky both for parents and for children who are on the receiving end of them. While we may hate to disappoint our children at one level, we may need to do so for their benefit and they may momentarily dislike us for it. What does this bring up for you? Here we cultivate awareness around our relationship to making clear boundaries and the feelings this generates both in ourselves and in our families. 13. My Space & Yours pp82-87 Independence is part of loving in a healthy way. Many families value and use personal space effectively, but it can also activate anxieties around feeling rejected, loss of control and worry about where a child or teenager is and what they might be doing. Using a mindful approach to notice what arises in us around this theme is a first step towards addressing our fears. 14. Adoration & Irritation pp88-93 Our parental dilemma around the fluctuating blissful and challenging dynamic we face at times. Here we look at like and dislike as responses that are innate and human, yet small and egoic. If we look into the toolbox of mindfulness practice, what else is possible? 15. Challenges & Acceptance pp94-99 Creating personal wellbeing is part of the journey, but until we initially find acceptance for any difficult situation or pattern, we may struggle to change it in a positive way. Awareness of breath and body tension can be the first step to finding more flow with sticky situations or feelings like anger, guilt and blame. 16. Compassion pp100-105 A mother has the caretaker instinct, focused on stewarding her children in safety and wellness. Here we explore compassion as a mutually beneficial approach enabling kindness and care to flow both inward and outward. At times the heart opens naturally, when does this happen for you? Maximising opportunities for our hearts to open is essential for wellbeing and happiness. 17. Creativity pp106-111 In many ways creativity is synonymous with womanhood, in whatever direction we take it. For centuries throughout the ages women have poured their creativity into many forms, from culture to culture across the world. Keeping our creativity alive is one way of staying awake to life. Mindful exploration of this creative impulse is the theme of this piece. 18. Nourishing Self pp112-117 The image of a self-sacrificing mother is a traditional archetype in our culture. A mother is especially vulnerable to this because, from babyhood onwards she becomes used to putting her children's needs first. Are you aware of where you need more nourishment? 19. Food & Body pp118-123 What is your relationship to food and to your body? Here we investigate the practice of cultivating gratitude for the basic physical gifts we have of food, health and body so that we can experience deeper nourishment, resilience and self-appreciation in our lives. 20. Inner Sanctuary pp124-129 Making time and space for oneself to explore presence, quietude and refuge' from the busy world is an act of self-kindness. We might imagine that to feel fantastic we just need to buy something we want. But if we manage to get beyond this, and gift to ourselves a day in solitude or perhaps several days in retreat, we may encounter a wealth of peace and insight just waiting to be discovered. The real treasure lies within. 21. Celebration pp130-135 You are a mother. You are raising, or have raised, a child. Have you ever fully acknowledged yourself for this monumental task? How can we use mindfulness to bring more recognition to our view of this mothering path? How can we celebrate the simple things as well as the big events in our lives, and allow the small joys to contribute more to our sense of fulfilment? 22. Relationship pp136-141 In creating new lives we draw upon a resource of hope that is as much personal as it is eternal. A pull of life-force within us that calls for new life to come into being. Here we explore what it is to be in the close relationships, navigating intimacy and independence, using mindfulness as a way of becoming more present and open-hearted. 23. Awareness & Buddha Nature pp142-147 Buddha Nature is a term used in Buddhism to refer to an inherent part of each of us that is already awake, which can only shine through when we are aware enough to recognise the true nature of mind. Here we consider the idea of entering into our daily lives with an understanding that our original state is to be awake and conscious. Can this help us to align ourselves more with these qualities? 24. Mother Nature, Mother Nurture pp148-153 In nature, the cycle of birth, death and re-birth is reflected to us endlessly, month after month, year after year. Taking note of natures' ways can help us as mothers to recognise that what we birth' into the world can nourish us too, if we choose to receive it. 25. The Journey Onwards pp154-159 Concern about the wellbeing of our children and of the future generations is a theme that is entwined with motherhood. What will we mothers have to hand down to our children? Taking a mindful approach we investigate ways of bringing our maternal influence into the wider world for the benefit of all beings. Endmatter pp160"