Drained

'Every woman in the Western world must read this book before they fold that next load of washing. The mental load has suffocated me for years, and this book finally gives me the hope I've been desperately seeking. Leah is the real deal: she's spent years conducting the actual research, she's lived it herself and she's talked to many of us - she intricately understands all the bits and pieces that are crushing us. She writes with such warmth and understanding, and I spent a lot of this book with tears in my eyes as I felt seen and validated. But here's the thing - she doesn't just acknowledge the struggle, she gives you a road-map to managing it all without everything falling apart. The mental load audit is a game-changer. And yes, I'll still coiff my kid's hair for crazy hair day, but with a new mantra: good enough is good enough. They don't need to win the prize.' Felicity Harley 'Drained is the book every woman who feels like she's running on empty needs to read. Professor Leah Ruppaner has done what so few have managed: she's named, measured and mapped the true cost of the mental load. This isn't another vague lament about doing it all, being busy or overwhelmed; it's a razor-sharp, research-backed reckoning with the invisible labour crushing women across the world. With clarity, compassion and courage, Leah exposes why so many women are feeling exhausted and inadequate and shows that it's not personal failure, but a structural problem. The Mental Load Audit is a genuine breakthrough: a practical, empowering tool to reclaim energy, capacity and joy. If you've ever wondered why you're constantly tired, resentful or stretched to breaking point - this is your manual for change. Leah Ruppaner is brilliant, bold and a gift to women and men the world over. Drained will make you feel seen, understood and - critically - hopeful.' Georgie Dent 'No one has a better, and more research-based understanding than Leah Ruppanner of the double standards to which women and men are held in the home and family, and of the harmful -- no, shameful -- toll taken by the higher expectations and harsher judgments on women (especially mothers) who cannot appear to make the impossible look effortless. In Drained, Ruppanner busts the myth that women's self-imposed standards are the cause of their own distress, and replaces it with the evidence that the ""invisible, boundaryless and enduring"" mental load is externally imposed. This book will validate the lived experience of women en masse who are ""working at top speed"" but feel like they cannot get ahead, and its messages about the benefits of more equal distribution will enrich the lives of all those men smart enough to read it.' Wendy Tuohy 'Drained is a research-backed, powerful guide to managing the complex emotional burden of mental load, with practical advice that is both urgent and transformative. It is a must-read for all women to help them reset how they spend their energy, and lead more balanced, fulfilling, joyful lives.' Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space 'Leah Ruppanner shines a bright spotlight on one of the most invisible and consequential experiences that can drive division and tax bandwidth to the breaking point: the mental load borne primarily by women that keeps family life running. Drained offers an essential blueprint for happier, healthier relationships and lives.' Brigid Schulte, New York Times bestselling author of Overwhelmed and Over Work 'This book is a revelation. Women often talk about our ""mental load,"" but we don't really understand what it is, which means we don't know what to do about it. Drained meticulously and rigorously shows us all the different parts of that load, why we are expected to carry more of it, and how to decide what parts are actually worth carrying. Buy it, read it, and recommend it!' Anne-Marie Slaughter, author of Unfinished Business 'It takes a lot to write something new about the mental load that surprises me-but Drained did exactly that. This book is a must-read for all parents! If we want to tackle the care gap and the pay gap, burnout, parents' mental health, and women's leadership, we need to understand the mental load, and we need to tackle it. And our first step is to read Drained.' Kate Mangino, PhD, author of Equal Partners 'I wish I had this wisdom twenty years ago, before I became a mom. If you are a parent, this book is essential reading. And if you are a mother, it is indispensable. Leah Ruppanner offers a strikingly honest, deeply validating look at the unseen burdens so many of us carry and a path toward living with more ease, agency, and joy.' Susan MacKenty Brady, CEO, Simmons University Institute for Inclusive Leadership, and Deloitte Ellen Gabriel Chair for Women and Leadership