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Dark & Stormy Nights

Tales Best Left Untold

G Longtale

$18.95

Paperback

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English
G. Longtale
06 March 2025
Shake up a cocktail of chaos, dark humor, and island madness - and what you get is Dark & Stormy Nights - and possibly Bert Kreischer's Love Child.

This memoir blends:

2 shots of Hunter S. Thompson's The Rum Diary 1 generous pour of Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell A splash of Californication's unapologetic dark humor All served with a twist of tropical storms, sinking boats, and Bermuda Police Department hospitality.

From the moment G. Longtale touched down on the tiny island, life became a blender full of rum, questionable choices, and hilarious consequences. This is not a travel guide - unless you want step-by-step instructions on how to ruin a scooter, flee from cops in boxer shorts, or sink your social life (along with your boat) faster than you can say ""Dark & Stormy.""

Perfect for anyone who's ever dreamed of island life - or woken up on a beach wondering where their dignity went - Dark & Stormy Nights is the ultimate island misadventure.

Sip slowly. Read irresponsibly.
By:  
Imprint:   G. Longtale
Dimensions:   Height: 216mm,  Width: 140mm,  Spine: 9mm
Weight:   172g
ISBN:   9781068463181
ISBN 10:   106846318X
Pages:   144
Publication Date:  
Audience:   General/trade ,  ELT Advanced
Format:   Paperback
Publisher's Status:   Active

G. Longtale is a writer, wanderer, and professional bad decision-maker who somehow keeps surviving long enough to document the wreckage. A self-proclaimed connoisseur of airport bars, questionable life choices, and the fine art of talking his way out of things, he's spent years bouncing between boardrooms and back alleys-drinking hard, thinking harder, and occasionally making himself useful in between. His debut, Dark & Stormy Nights: Tales Best Left Untold, peeled back the layers of expatriate misadventure, blurring the line between memory and myth. Some of it happened exactly as written. Some of it happened differently. Some of it should have happened that way. Now, with the Corporate Crusader series, he turns his sharp eye and sharper wit toward the world of high-functioning degeneracy-where PowerPoint decks and criminal intent aren't mutually exclusive, and sometimes the only way to fix a problem is to remove it entirely. Longtale's stories exist in that murky space between lived experience, half-remembered embellishment, and the fantasy conclusions he should have gone with at the time. When not writing, he can be found drinking a perfectly chilled vodka in a first-class lounge, a lukewarm beer in a dive bar that smells of regret, or a bottle of mad dog 20:20 on a park bench at an hour when no one should be drinking-fitting in just enough to be left alone, but never enough to belong.

Reviews for Dark & Stormy Nights: Tales Best Left Untold

""Reads like a cautionary tale, only he never learns."" - Probably Someone's Therapist ""The most entertaining moral gray area I've ever read."" - The Man at the bar, who hasn't left in days Bermuda's own Rum Diary. A fast and furious read-just like the rum, it flows freely, offering an almost insightful glimpse into Bermuda's underbelly. What a wild ride! - Actual Reader Review, Amazon ★★★★★ Hunter S Thompson once said ""I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me"". Longtale doesn't advocate the above but sure enough continues to get embroiled in each of them to suggest he's a professional. He shows that even professionals have moments of doubts and regrets before having to get back to work. Set in a Hemingway-esque backdrop we encounter Irvine Welsh type characters and situations only they, and now Longtale, could find themselves in, along with low level police officials from a Don Winslow best seller. Longtale ponders how he becomes the central character in these tales, but as HST explained ""All energy flows according to the whims of the great Magnet. What a fool I was to defy him."" Longtale knew not to try and defy it. - Yato Boldon, Amazon ★★★★★


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