How to Make a Friend

""I've spent my career trying to help people form real relationships in a world that keeps optimizing them away. What Radha gets, and what this book makes you feel in your bones, is that the same thing is happening to friendship. We've quietly traded the slow, messy, inefficient time that connection requires for convenience and comfort. And we're paying for it. This book is a warm, honest guide back to what our bodies already know: we need each other. Not perfectly, not efficiently, but regularly and for real."" -- Justin McLeod, Founder of Hinge ""In an era of growing disconnection, How to Make a Friend: A Modern Guide to Friendship offers a timely roadmap. Radha Agrawal translates complex social dynamics into clear, actionable steps, showing that friendship isn't simply a matter of chance--it's something we can intentionally cultivate. I've experienced firsthand the generosity of her friendship, and that same warmth and openness shine throughout this book. Insightful, practical, and engaging, this book reminds us that genuine connection is both possible and essential."" -- Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, professor of psychology and neuroscience, director of the Social Connection & Health Lab at Brigham Young University ""In this timely and expansive book, Radha Agrawal takes on a tour of the long history of friendship in our species, how vital it is to the life we lead, and how to find this most satisfying of bonds in abundance in this era of loneliness. It is a stirring reminder of our need to connect and befriend."" -- Dacher Keltner, author of Awe, professor of psychology at University of California, Berkeley, and director of the Berkeley Social Interaction Lab ""Only Radha could make the art of friendship feel both urgent and tender at the same time. She writes the way she lives -- with radical warmth, deep honesty, and an unstoppable belief in the power of human connection. Radha is one of the great friends of my life, and this book is a must-read for anyone who has ever longed to be truly known."" -- Regena Thomashauer, ""Mama Gena"" Author of the New York Times bestseller Pussy: A Reclamation and Founder of the School of Womanly Arts ""Our relationships in life not only enrich who we are, they create the foundation for our medical and mental well-being. Radha Agrawal offers both inspiring wisdom and science-packed information about how our friendships are created and sustained in our lives. With practical tools and illuminating examples, this fabulous guide to our relational health provides a map of the important interpersonal terrain that we can travel at any age. Knowing about our widening circles of connection, the power of direct and compassionate communication, how to repair inevitable ruptures, and growing alongside those friendships that enhance our lives and letting some go that don't, you'll come away from this beautifully written toolkit with a new zest for connection and a roadmap to relational thriving. Thank you for this gift of connection, Radha, and to you, a reader who chooses to practice the lessons of love woven into this beautiful book that will make this a more rewarding and caring world."" -- Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., New York Times bestselling author and founder, Mindsight Institute ""Radha has written a beautiful and deeply needed book for this moment in time. In a culture that constantly pulls us toward distraction, it's easy to lose sight of one of the most healing forces in our lives: true friendship. Radha compassionately shines a light on the ways we've detoured from meaningful connection and lovingly guides us back to what our hearts have always known, we're meant to support one another, grow together, and belong."" -- Gabrielle Bernstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Universe Has Your Back ""Radha Agrawal has written a book that is utterly brilliant, incredibly timely and immensely powerful. You will delight in, resonate with, and love every word. We all know in our hearts of hearts that we have lost track of how vital, and life-giving friendship is and reading this book will move you to tears of relief, joy, and gratitude. You will remember that friendship is the most glorious and fertile soil from which we create our lives of meaning, beauty and resilience. This is nothing short of a bible and a blessing for these challenging times."" -- Lynne Twist, author of The Soul of Money and cofounder of Pachamama Alliance ""Radha Agrawal is my identical twin sister, my first friend, and the person I've been building community with since before we were born. From the womb to the tomb--that's our saying, and we mean it.This is hard-won wisdom from a woman who has spent more than 13 years building one of the most joyful, connected communities on the planet through Daybreaker--and a lifetime before that learning the art of belonging inside Japanese classrooms, Hindi gatherings, soccer fields, and school hallways, because our parents insisted we show up for our people. And yes, we've fought. Deeply, messily, twin-level fought. But we always find our way back to each other--because that's what real community actually is: the commitment to repair, every single time. Reading this book reminded me how easy it is to let the busyness of building things swallow the very people we're building them for. Radha holds up a mirror--gently, lovingly, without shame--and asks you to look at the friendships you've drifted from, the hellos you talked yourself out of, the connections you told yourself you were too busy for. Her honesty about her own stumbles makes her the most trustworthy kind of guide. In the loneliest era of modern life, this book is urgent. And Radha is the exact right person to write it."" -- Miki Agrawal, Co-founder of TUSHY and HIRO Technologies, and Radha's identical twin sister and first community member (womb edition) ""Radha Agrawal reminds us that meaningful friendships grow from self-awareness, honesty, and care. The quality of our lives is deeply shaped by the quality of our friendships."" -- Yung Pueblo, #1 New York Times bestselling author ""The loneliness epidemic is catastrophic for America's youth. Connection is the key and Radha Agrawal shows us how with a beautifully hopeful ode to all things friendship. And I should know. I have no friends."" -- Rainn Wilson, actor/writer/friend ""This is a beautifully written book that overflows with wisdom. It challenges us to take a hard look at how much we have been caught up in cultural rip tides that leave us isolated and distracted. Reading it helped me realize how many friendships I have neglected or lost by prioritizing work for so long. Radha's words speak directly to the parts of us that hesitate to take the risk or say we're too busy, and, by pulling our heads out of the rip tide, help us see not only the toll our lonely lifestyles take but also the ways we can build fulfilling networks. She becomes a loving, empathic, and patient relationship coach who isn't afraid to own the mistakes she has made. An important antidote to the toxic tendencies that keep us separated."" -- Richard Schwartz, Ph.D., developer of Internal Family Systems ""We wouldn't have the mental health crisis we have if we hadn't lost the art of friendship. Values of deep care and compassion that should be core to every friendship are replaced too often by a misguided focus on boundaries and self-care, leaving us better at building walls between us than at the holy art of breaking them down.Radha Agrawal knows how to write a book about being a good friend because she is one. In the middle of a busy life filled with thousands of people, she has a way of making anyone she's with feel like they're the only person who matters. Friendship isn't just an abstraction to Radha, it's her art form. Friendship is a medicine for the soul and she delivers it on every page."" -- Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love ""What if the real 'saviour' of our time is not a single person at all... but the community--all of us together? Not someone standing apart from humanity, but a living sense of oneness and togetherness that allows a more loving kind of humanity to emerge. This is where Radha's message, and this beautiful book, come in. It reminds us of something simple and profound: the power of friendship--that warm, non-judgmental support we can offer one another as fellow human beings.Have we really looked deeply into this phenomenon of friendship? Perhaps not enough. Radha has not only explored it through her research--she lives it. Wherever she goes, she is creating community, nurturing connection, and reminding us how much we belong to one another. May this book inspire us to nourish friendship and friendliness in our own lives. We need it. We thrive on it!"" -- Deva Premal, Grammy-nominated mantra singer and chant artist ""Radha Agrawal understands something our culture has forgotten: friendship is medicine. In How to Make a Friend, she offers a heartfelt and practical guide to building the relationships that sustain us, heal us, and bring meaning to our lives. Radha has also been key to helping me create a vibrant community of friends in my own life, which makes this book feel not only insightful, but deeply lived. A timely and essential read."" -- Mark Hyman, MD, author of Young Forever