Legends and Tales of the American West

It Ain’t Necessarily So  /  xiii Foreword  /  xv   Chapter 1 — Ohio Fever  /  3 The Devil and Major Stobo  /  5 The Cheater Cheated  /  9 The Wild Hunt  /  12 Dreams  /  14 The Skeleton Hand  /  15 The Wild Hunter of the Juniata  /  23 The Consequences of Not Letting a Man Have His Drink  /  28 The Laughing Head  /  31   Chapter 2 — The Long Hunters  /  35 Tarzan Boone  /  37 Swallowing a Scalping Knife  /  42 That’s John’s Gun!  /  43 A Clever Runner  /  44 A Damn Good Jump  /  45 The Warrior Woman  /  49 The Corcondyle Head  /  51   Chapter 3 — Backwoodsmen  /  55 The Irrepressible Backwoodsman and Original Humorist   /  57 Grinning the Bark Off a Tree  /  60 Davy Crockett on the Stump  /  61 The Drinks Are on Me, Gentlemen  /  61 Gouging the Critter  /  62 Jim Bowie and His Big Knife  /  63 Won’t You Light, Stranger?  /  69 Ohio Poem  /  70   Chapter 4 — Ring-Tailed Roarers of the Western Waters  /  71 A Shooting Match  /  75 Did Such a Helliferocious Man Ever Live?  /  77 Like Father, Like Daughter  /  80 She Fought Her Weigh in She-B’ars  /  81 He Crowed and Flapped His Wings  /  83 A Fight Between Keelboatmen Averted  /  84 Stranger, Is This a Free Fight?  /  85 The Screaming Head  /  85 Stopping Drinking for Good  /  89   Chapter 5 — Mountain Men  /  91 Little Big Man  /  95 Kit Carson and the Grizzlies  /  100 Run for Your Life, White Man!  /  103 Old Solitaire  /  109 Pegleg Smith and Headless Harry  /  121 Mind the Time We Took Pawnee Topknots?  /  127 Lover Boy of the Prairies  /  128 Putrefactions  /  135 The Injin Killed Me Dead  /  137 Heaven According to Old Gabe  /  139 Damn Good Shootin’  /  141 Uncle Joe the Humorist  /  146 Ba’tiste’s Nightmare  /  147 Song of the Voyageur  /  150   Chapter 6 — Timber!  /  151 Paul Bunyan and His Little Blue Ox  /  153 Paul Bunyan Helps to Build a Railroad  /  157 Kidnapped by a Flea  /  162 Thunder Bay  /  167   Chapter 7 — Gold! Gold! Gold!  /  171 Tommy-Knockers  /  173 It Had a Light Where Its Heart Ought to Have Been  /  177 He Ate All the Democrats of Hinsdale County  /  180 A Golden-Haired Fellow  /  184 Treasures of Various Kinds  /  185 The Missing Chest  /  190   Chapter 8 — Git Along Little Dogies  /  195 The Saga of Pecos Bill  /  197 The Taming of Pecos Bill’s Gal Sue  /  203 Coyote Makes a Texas Cowboy  /  209 The Heart-Shaped Mark  /  212 The Skeleton Bride  /  215 Western Jack and the Cornstalk  /  217 Better Move That Drat Thing!  /  219 Being Afoot in Roswell  /  220 Outstunk the Skunk  /  220   Chapter 9 — They Died with Their Boots On  /  221 No-Head Joaquín and Three-Fingered Jack  /  225 The Headless Horseman of the Mother Lode  /  232 El Keed  /  235 El Chivato  /  241 He Rose from the Grave  /  244 A Whale of a Fellow with a Gun  /  248 The King of the Pistoleers  /  255 A Western Duel  /  263 The Nuptials of Dangerous Davis  /  264 Killing Off the James Boys  /  266 Theme and Variations  /  267 The Winchester Ghosts  /  272   Chapter 10 — Bucking the Tiger  /  277 A Hard Head  /  279 Indians Can Play Poker  /  281 Jim Bowie Takes a Hand  /  282 The Curly-Headed Little Boy  /  284 Shall We Have a Drop?  /  287 Colonel Tubbs Strikes It Rich  /  289 Good for Our Entire Assets  /  294 The One-Eyed Gambler  /  295   Chapter 11 — Lady Wildcats of the Plains  /  297 Born Before Her Time  /  299 How Old Calam Got Her Name  /  301 Calamity Jane Meets a Long-Lost Lover  /  305   Chapter 12 — The Man Who Never Was  /  309 Deadwood Dick  /  311 Deadwood Dick and the Grizzly  /  312 Deadwood Dick to the Rescue  /  315   Chapter 13 — An’ That’s My Roolin’  /  321 The Law West of the Pecos  /  323 Ah Ling’s Hommyside  /  325 Fining the Deceased  /  328 The Hanging of Carlos Robles  /  330 Roy Bean’s Pet Bear  /  332 Judge Barker, Old Zim, and the One-Eyed Mule  /  335 El Cuatro de Julio  /  337 A Drink’s Worth of Punishment  /  337   Chapter 14 — Sky Pilots  /  339 Preachin’ One Can Understand  /  341 The Parable of the Prodigal Son  /  345 Lissen to the Heavenly Poker Player!  /  347 Hear What the Great Herd Book Says!  /  349 A Funeral Oration  /  349 A Black Hills Sermon  /  350   Chapter 15 — Critters  /  353 The Valley of Headless Men  /  355 A loup-Garou, or a Windigo, or Maybe a Carcajou  /  359 The Call of the Wild  /  365 The Windigo  /  369 The Great White Stallion of the West  /  370 Until Judgment Day  /  373 El Diablo Negro  /  376 Snake Yarns  /  381 A Rolling Snake Gathers No Moss  /  383 The White Snakes  /  385 A Pair of Fine Boots  /  386 The Young Man Who Wanted to Be Snakebit  /  389 The Peg-Leg Cat  /  391   Chapter 16 — Mostly Lies  /  393 Somebody in My Bed  /  395 The Weather  /  397 It Gets Mighty Cold Around Here  /  398 Texican Liars  /  400   Chapter 17 — Miracles, Saints, and Witches  /  401 The Three Lost Daughters  /  403 The Two Witches  /  405 The Owl Witch  /  406 San Isidro and the Angel  /  407 A Riddle  /  409 The Many-Times-Killed Young Man  /  411 The Caveman of the Hermit Peaks  /  416 The Miracles of Chimayo  /  420 The Miraculous Staircase  /  424 The Hitchhiker  /  427   Source Notes  /  431 Bibliography  /  441