How to Be a Footballer

Peter Crouch

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Paperback

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QTY:

English

Ebury Press
30 May 2019

Autobiography: sport; Sports & outdoor recreation; Football (Soccer, Association football)

The first truly insider guide to being a Premiership footballer, from Britain's funniest sporting icon

'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times

'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
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*A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year
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*Shortlisted for the National Book Awards
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*Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year
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You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay e250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.

I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

By: Peter Crouch
Imprint: Ebury Press
Country of Publication: United Kingdom
Dimensions: Height: 198mm, Width: 126mm, Spine: 19mm
Weight: 219g
ISBN: 9781785039782
ISBN 10: 1785039784
Pages: 304
Publication Date: 30 May 2019
Audience: General/trade , ELT Advanced
Format: Paperback
Publisher's Status: Active

First things first- yes I am very tall, no the weather isn't different up here, and no I don't play basketball. Glad that's out the way. I've been a professional footballer for 20 years, have 42 England caps, have scored over 100 Premier League goals and hold the record for the most headed goals in Premier League history. In my time I've been promoted, relegated, won trophies, gone months without scoring, been bought, sold, loaned and abused - and I've loved almost every moment of it.

Reviews for How to Be a Footballer

The funniest man in British sport * Metro * On his way to being a national treasure... most enjoyable * Daily Telegraph * As someone who's been there, done it and got the ill-fitting T-shirt, Crouch is well placed to shed light on the bizarre world of the modern player in a funny, down-to-earth way... He made his name on the pitch ... but with this book, Crouch proves he is a good sport off it, too. -- Jade Craddock * Sun * Who knew that a footballer could be funny? ... What you realise, as you laugh out loud, is that football has been taken too seriously by too many people for too long... Most other football books wither by comparison * Daily Mail Sports Book of the Year * However overpaid and preening you might assume Premier League footballers to be, think again. They're worse, according to this amusing insider's account * Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year *